I grew up outside of Philly, and I've never seen any of the four teams win a championship. If I'd grown up in Miami I'd have seen two. Both by the Marlins. The goddamn Marlins. They have won more championships in the past 10 years than the Phillies in 100-some years.

Deep down in a Philly heart, you think, goddamn, I am going to get screwed mightily somehow. Our hearts are always ready for the breaking. It could be the fourth game of the Stanley Cup, Flyers up three games to none; the Flyers could have had every player be an all-star; the Flyers' goalie could be throwing a shut-out for the whole playoffs; the other team could be comprised of sleeping babies; the opposing coach could be a donkey swishing at flies with its tail; the other goalie could be a one-foot-high pile of loose sand; and we would be rooting, and cheering, and threatening the other's team's fans; and our mayor would bet the mayor from the other team's city a dumptruck of gold-plated cheesesteaks and pretzels plus they'd send him a busload of their angriest homeless people if they win; and still... still... deep down in our hearts, every one of us would be thinking... "Shit, that pile of sand is absolutely due for a huge game. This is a dangerous game tonight."

So, Go Flyers! Right?