So Tommy Mottola signed Lindsay Lohan to a record contract. Anyone else not have a record contract yet? Anyone? Maybe she can tour with Cojo from "Entertainment Tonight" and the dog from "Frasier." Dear Lindsey, I look forward to hanging out with you. Signed, the Wicked Cheap section at Newbury Comics.

Justin Guarini's another guy whose CDs record companies had the balls to sell at $17 a pop. At least he's landed on his feet.