I feel for this guy, I really do. For months after I got my last phone number I would get calls for Luis. "Yo, Luis there?" "Hola, Luis!" And so on and so forth. It annoyed the hell out of me, and I don't think Luis put my number on a hit album. But at the same time, I can realize how people would just assume Alicia Keys is giving out her home number for her fans to call. And why wouldn't she? They're obviously a bright bunch, and what sparkling conversation they must be capable of. But it's confusing. I know that the breakdown of "You Don't Know My Name," when she does the one-sided conversation, had me talking back to the stereo like five times before realizing she couldn't hear me.

Alicia Keys' "You Don't Know My Name": Hello? Can I speak to --- to Michael?
Me: Yes. Yes you may. Who may I ask is calling?
AKYDKMN: Oh hey, how you doin?
Me: I'm doing alright, just drinking some wine from a box. Who is this? You sound like Alicia Keys!
AKYDKMN: Uh, I feel kinda silly doin' this, but um, this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39th and Lennox.
Me: 39th and Lennox? Where's that? Waitress? Coffee house? Who what now?
AKYDKMN: You know, the one with the braids?
Me: Braids? What are you talking about?
AKYDKMN: Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time...
Me: Wednesdays? Do you work at Popeye's? Because I think calling yourself a "waitress" might be a stretch... wait a minute...

Well this is better than all the people that tried to violate Kurt Cobain after In Utero came out, and it wasn't because they didn't like Albini's production.