They must be offering irony as a class for freshmen at NYU this year. This is even better than the new McDonald's commercial where the black woman keeps someone away from her chicken by saying "You better don't!" Sassy! Here's what I want to see:

Mary-Kate: McDonalds gives you enough food for a week!
Ashley: Maybe two!
Mary-Kate: We're twins! Two for twins! Yay...
Ashley: My favorite food to get at McDonalds is the bag and smell it. Sometimes I buy food, smell the bag, then throw out the food. Somewhere where homeless people can't get to it, like the bottom of the ocean.
Mary-Kate: Look how many chicken things I can fit in the well of my neckbones! It's like a clown car in my neck. For chickens. Maybe I'm a chicken now. Bawk bawk!
Ashley: Moo!
Mary-Kate: Let's get out of here. All this food smelling is giving me the dizzies. And you know what happens when I get the dizzies.
Ashley: You sleep with poor people.
[The twins leave, throwing their food into a trash can that Dave Coulier is living in]
Dave Coulier [in Bullwinkle voice]: I'm so hungry, I had sex on videotape with a monkey for money!
Fade out.