Strap yourself in, it's time to ride the Lindsey Lohan Experience®. Thrill as you cleverly elude paparazzi! Scream as you make out with swarthy men who aren't Fez! Feel your spine tingle as you perch in an oversized birdcage/metaphor! She'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge.

No truth to the rumor that the Lindsey Lohan Experience® is nothing more than a remodelled version of Justin Timberlake: The Ride™.