Friday, October 15, 2004
F-R-I-D-A-Y/ Night!
The worst part about starting your Friday night early is coming home, settling down to some good ol' TV, and finding out you best option is Reba. I think that may be the litmus test of Friday night: if at any point you contemplate watching Reba. And let me tell you, I'm not just watching it, I now know that the big family drama is Van maybe going to Denver. To Denver people! He has a child!
Anyway, at the bar, when I was young and exciting, there was a Simpsons episode that I've never seen. The kids are playing baseball, and Bart says he's Tomo Ohka from the Expos; Milhouse says he's Estaban Yan from the Devil Rays. Then there's this exchange:
Nelson: I'm the person everyone in the stadium hates.
Bart: The umpire?
Nelson: No. I'm Billy Cyrstal.
Very, very true. Only one thing worse than watching the Red Sox lose. That's watching Bill Crystal enjoy the game. You like the Yankees, Billy? Maybe you can shoe-horn that fact into another lousy romantic comedy. And the only thing that can make that worse is seeing him sit next to Robin Williams. You know at one point one of them turns to the other and says "You, I've been working on this bit." Let me save you some time: it's not funny. I mean, it'll play at the Wal-Mart convention, but in an existential sense? No.
Anyway, the Sox are rained out, and Reba's drawing to a close. I hope everything works out. In fact, I'm down on my knees praying. Well, praying and trying to get the peanut butter off the kitchen floor.
Anyway, at the bar, when I was young and exciting, there was a Simpsons episode that I've never seen. The kids are playing baseball, and Bart says he's Tomo Ohka from the Expos; Milhouse says he's Estaban Yan from the Devil Rays. Then there's this exchange:
Nelson: I'm the person everyone in the stadium hates.
Bart: The umpire?
Nelson: No. I'm Billy Cyrstal.
Very, very true. Only one thing worse than watching the Red Sox lose. That's watching Bill Crystal enjoy the game. You like the Yankees, Billy? Maybe you can shoe-horn that fact into another lousy romantic comedy. And the only thing that can make that worse is seeing him sit next to Robin Williams. You know at one point one of them turns to the other and says "You, I've been working on this bit." Let me save you some time: it's not funny. I mean, it'll play at the Wal-Mart convention, but in an existential sense? No.
Anyway, the Sox are rained out, and Reba's drawing to a close. I hope everything works out. In fact, I'm down on my knees praying. Well, praying and trying to get the peanut butter off the kitchen floor.
