To quote Yo La Tengo, today is the day. Not only is it Nelly's birthday but it's also Pat Buchanan's. Trivia Question: Which one of those two is going to celebrate his birthday with a facefull of stripper's ass and which one will spend his birthday wish hoping the Jews are touched by the horrifying void that is the absence of God's light? The answer... let's just say it might surprise you.

The line for my local polling place was around the block, which means the young kids are rockin' the vote, just like John Mayer planned it all along. Which is a good thing, unless these people are voting for Bush; in that case they can rot in the devil's asshole. No offense. Good things to say to people in long voting lines: "What's with the line? Lenny Dykstra signing autographs today?" "Where's the line for people that have better things to do?" "Is there an express line for Nader voters?"

Check out The League of Pissed Off Voters for local info (about voting for Kerry). Don't worry if people call you a "dork" or "homosexual" if you vote. Sticks and stones, man. Sticks. And. Stones.