Nothing inspires confidence like the promise of the phrase "From the director of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen!"

The Alarm's Ruse Inspires Film

"'The film is going to be a fictionalized account of what went off,' Peters says of the project, which is still in the early stages of development. 'It's got quite a good start. At the moment it starts off with the singer, who is sort of based on me, [who] lives in L.A. The glory days are long gone and he owns a bar.' "

Later on, the film is described as Tootsie meets The Full Monty. Sure, whatever. As long as we're tossing out hybrids, I think it sounds more like Divine Sisters of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood meets Every Which Way but Loose. Sounds about right.

So what went off? The Alarm wrote a song called "45 RPM" and released it in England as The Poppyfields. They filmed a video with a bunch of teenagers playing the band. And the song cracked the Top 30 over there, which is 567 spots higher than the previous Alarm single. And while something deep and heartfelt could be coaxed from this, about the love of music and the horrible hypocrisy of image in the industry, I'll say it once more: "From the director of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen..."