According to Rolling Stone, Paris Hilton is one of the most fascinating people of the year. I wasn't aware Barbara Walters was on their editorial board. And of course, they interview her. Does anyone care what she has to say? When she opens her mouth, most people don't care what comes out, only what they can slip in. This is the shit you get when someone pretends to give a crap:

"I love pillows. I need three under my head. I also have the air at fifty degrees. I need to have a fan blowing in my face. I need to wear an eye mask, always. I can't sleep if I don't have an eye mask. I'll tie a T-shirt around my face. I'll look crazy."

Poor poor princess, falling asleep on a pea. And also, the question was about the ever-widening gap between rich and poor. But she's got more, because once there's a leak in the dam, it's hard to plug it (unless you've got a video camera and some strong drugs):

"I cannot see any light, or else I will not sleep."

Isn't that the fourth law of the robots? She even says it like one. "I do not have a belief in these things you humans call 'contractions'. And what is this thing you speak of, the... 'love'?" Paris Hilton, one of the most fascinating people of the year. I guess if you dance on enough tables and get a good enough PR person, this counts as fascinating.

"My dress is tight!"
"Fascinating, Paris, tell me more."
"Diamonds shine pretty. An empty bottle has nothing in it because air doesn't count."
"Someone writing this down?"

Of course, I'm writing about it, so... goddamn it, Paris, you are one tricky minx. Hats off to you.