"When the world ends in 200 years, it'd be nice to have it be 'Oh, yeah, and the best band was Coldplay'."
-Chris Martin, in the new Entertainment Weekly

Would naming Coldplay best band ever be on the list of things we need to sort out as the crumbles around us, or would such an act actually trigger the end of the world? Would God toss down his almighty fire, saying "I gave you the Beatles and the Stones, and you do this to me? This is so totally ten times worse than any golden calf."

I mean, yeah, it would be nice for you. And it would be nice for me to be recognized for having the longest continuous subscription to Entertainment Weekly with an all-you-can-eat ice cream social. And it would be nice for the guy in that commercial where the girl plugs the hole in the rowboat with a tampon to be recognized as the greatest tampon commercial actor of his generation. But none of this will happen.