Pitchfork has a review of what sounds like a super goddamn creepy Nick Cannon song, where he takes a stand against abortion, singing from the fetus' perspective. This has to be a joke, right? I mean, this is a guy with a movie coming out where he plays an undercover cop at a private school and previously remade Patrick Dempsey's Can't Buy Me Love. Nick, just because you don't have the ability to choose a good script doesn't mean a woman can't choose whether or not to have an abortion. Some people actually make informed, adult decisions that don't involve whether to play a scene with shirtless or not.

Stay tuned for Lindsey Lohan's take on gay marriage: "But Who Will Do the Dishes?"