You know what the new U2 song reminds me of? "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" from one of those Batman movies where Joel Schumacher was the villain. Over-processed guitar, one of the laziest bridges heard in a long time, winking apocolyptic imagery, some half-baked Middle Eastern influence in the chorus left over from the "Mysterious Ways" video: the perfect recipe for a b-side, the lure-in track on a greatest hits comp, or something you'd contribute to a politically conscious action movie. Instead it's the lead single from the new album. Oh boy.

Nothing about this sounds remotely original or inspired. It's like a sampler of their past sounds: "Vertigo," "Bullet the Blue Sky," and any song from the period that died with Pop, where they thought they were being ironic and no one really liked it once we thought about it and they seemed angry that we didn't get the joke but still scaled back and recorded All That You Can't Leave Behind. Hell, I half expect Bono to sing this "in character" while wearing devil horns and a general's uniform, while some multimedia art installation plays out behind him.